Unmasking the Impostor Syndrome inside me

1K Blog Marathon: Day 3

Imagine one thing that you are very happy doing or something you know you are good at. Whether it’s painting, programming, video editing or even taking pictures of cats, you feel that you know your race. Then suddenly, you met a new person, or an old friend, with which you share the same hobby. You both start talking about that “common denominator” of yours, and both share your own knowledge about it.

Suddenly your friend starts mentioning things that you don’t know, or not familiar with. Or maybe things that you’ve heard before but never tried in your line of the hobby. You thought to yourself,
“This person knew this thing more than me, I am just a newbie in my line.”
You feel a sudden fear that he/she might found out that you are just pretending, that “you know” the things he/she is talking about.

Congratulations! You just get the dreaded “Impostor Syndrome”. It is a mental state that kicks in when you think that you know nothing and others have far more superior knowledge than you, when you are not confident with what you have achieved, or if you feel that you don’t deserve praise for whatever you’ve done. You feel that you’re only pretending – like you are wearing a mask in front of your colleagues or family. You feel mediocre, even if in fact everyone is telling you that you are doing great. To you, you’re an impostor.

I’ve been through this a lot of times before, and mind you, I always feel the need to improve myself. Whenever I read something online about different programming language, I literally read every single URL in my Google search just to cope up with that technology. When a co-programmer tells me about his “approach” in coding, I cram myself to negate the attack by activating my non-existent trap card, throwing my tech vocabulary, even unnecessary. I always feel the need to be competitive. And it sucks, my friend, but it gives rise to improvement.

I read a lot online about this feeling of being left out. And I found out that I’m not the only insecure person in the world. Out there, there’s many of us struggling within themselves, hiding the impostor inside while in fact it shouldn’t be.

Afraid to press that “Publish” button;

Afraid to upload that vlog;

Commenting anonymously;

Crying over bashers.

We just need to realize that it doesn’t matter if someone knows something, I bet you also know a thing or two unbeknownst to them. I bet you excel in something that they find difficult. I bet he/she also suffers from the Impostor Syndrome…

We all have it, we just don’t know yet. But it should not control our life and prevent us from doing what we love, achieving more or simply being happy. We just have to learn to accept it, do our best shot while following excellence. Impostor Syndrome is not a bad thing, its just a reminder that we have more to learn.

I have an Impostor Syndrome, and it’s not a big deal folks.

“And that’s one blog, stay hungry!”

A snippet for your code:

“May you choose yourself, always!”

Malebo Sephodi

Published by Christian Foster

Code-blooded, coffee-lover, tall, dark and chubby. I love to draw, has motion-sickness and a sleepy-head. BTW, graduate of BS Computer Science, Associate in Computer Science and certified UiPath RPA Developer. Loyal to my partner and a father of a cute bouncing baby daughter!

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