A Programmer’s Brain: 10 Things You Didn’t Know Exists in Our Minds

1K Blog Marathon: Day 30

Some say genius, some say nerds.

Some call us imba, some of us cannot be heard.

We are the misfits, that you hail as absurd.

But we are programmers, and we’re hard-coded to change the world!

Do you wan’t to know what’s inside our chaotic brains? Welcome to our humble abode, where knowledge and stupidity merge!

10. When we talk to the screen, we are talking to our 7^th self in a parallel universe.

It’s not just a random murmur that you are hearing, in fact, we are intellectually connected to our other self on other dimension, and we are routing our minds and sending codes to a central server somewhere in the galaxy. The screen is an intercom.

9. It’s true that we have no common sense, but we have common knowledge.

Case scenario, common sense: you told us to buy an egg. If we saw milk, buy 2. You laugh at us because we saw milk and we bought 2 eggs. Let’s code it.

Bool DoIsawMilk;
Int Egg = 1;
If (DoIsawMilk == true) {
     Egg = 2;
}
Else {
     Egg = 1;
}

Return Egg;

8. Sorry, but we don’t see things as 1s and 0s.

What are we? Robots? We can understand 1s and 0s, but we are still humans. We need love, understanding, family, friends, social life (sobbing)… and, and… ^_^

We may be critical in numbers (excluding me) but we are yet to unlock the sleeping 80% of our brain – so we are far from being Lucy.

7. We are not lazy, we are just tired running codes.

Type in a line of code. Press f5. Key in another line. Press f5. Do this for a thousand line or two, the f5 button is now swearing! We may sit in front of the computer for a whole night, but we burn calories like we are running a marathon! You can see the bulging muscle in our brain!

6. The closer we are into solving an algorithm, the more we are frustrated.

Counter-intuitive right? But it’s true. We may be close to solving a problem, but the pride of solving it is banished by the realization that – “updates are infinite”. “The code you typed today may be commented tomorrow”.

5. We love bugs!

Oh how we love bugs! The red critical ones, the yellow warning, and even the gray exception. It tells us that “you are nearing to hit the perfection! Just one more code left!” And if the bugs were removed totally, we have to find another one – or another job, somewhere!

4. When we play, we see pixels moving.

During gaming time, we doesn’t just see the storyline, we also notice the graphics – and the law covering them. This is one universal law of games – one pixel can save your life!

3. We don’t delete codes, we just comment them.

Just a precautionary measure, in case we need it in the future, right folks?

2. We can’t change light bulbs, it’s a hardware problem.

How many programmers you need to change a light bulb? Zero, it’s a hardware problem. But if the bulb is turned on and off using a Wi-Fi, maybe we can help.

1. It’s a myth that we don’t have a life, in fact we had thousands of it – using Mods

We play, we die, game over? No, we have plenty of them! We have Mods. Did I tell you that we can see you anywhere in the map? That we can see your traps? That we have unlimited resources – gold, gems, lumbers, bullets, and hp!

/*Rem: This is a work of fiction. Press [space] to continue…*/

“And that’s one blog, stay hungry!”

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

― Rob Siltanen